"Take the wheel from my hands..."

All I Need

2010-01-19T01:26:00.000-08:00

Today I was involved with helping a father and his daughters move as a result of a messy separation,brokenness and confusion swarming their minds. Ive been hearing stories and seeing images of Haiti, distress and utter sadness sweeping the people, the nation. I also recall when the fires occurred in San Diego; I worked at the front desk of a local hotel and a young boy turned to his father saying "we lost everything but at least we have each other".

The point of "All I Need" was addressed on our church bulletin cover and in Matt Kearny's song: "All I Need" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBjcSQQus_Y)

I couldnt help but think of the aftermath, the hurt, the brokenness. And yet love, and each other, and our Father from above looking out for us ALL WE NEED. In the midst of the rubble, tragedy, and chaos, a glimmer of hope shines through the love embraced by what matters most: one another.

Surrender: wind and waves

2009-09-06T18:22:00.000-07:00

There is a battle, a space between, a tossing of the waves. I can choose independence and steer my own boat. Or I can surrender to the Spirit. Constantly there are decisions to be made and things to do; I need to learn the power of resistance and being content in 'no'. I desire discernment and to hear the quiet whisper found in the wind.

"I am full of earth, You are heaven's worth".

So...

I lay down my pride,
setting myself aside,
for I want nothing to hide
Living from deep down inside

The Scene is Set

2009-03-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

Often I try to control my every step, anticipate whats next, and hardly give change and flexibility a chance. This consumes my attention and even distracts me from investing in people and in the moment. Nicaragua in January and a recent road trip to Nor Cal,Oregon,Seattle showed me how to live the adventure God has bestowed for each of us to enjoy and to take time to pause and reflect. Look into the eyes of others, expand your view around you, and live freely not being tied down to what you assume is the best plan. "The scene is set"; you may not know who you will meet on your path or understand the path's twists and turns but God has already set the scene before, during, and after. He knows every detail and orchestrates according to how He wants it to go.
Every Tuesday, several of us gather from different places to have a meal, pray, share our hearts with one another, and lift our voices to God while listening to the cry of one anothers souls. It is so refreshing! God set this scene and we merely show up. Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Letting Go...

2007-01-25T21:15:00.000-08:00

Recent Reflections and Revelations

Running down the beach and gazing upon the beautiful sunset, I took moments to listen and reflect. Thomas Kincaid reminded me this morning on a daily calendar to listen, look at the bigger picture, and release worry. So today I practiced just that.
Being in San Francisco has been a true relief, refuge, time of renewal. Im so thankful to be here. Serving my grandparents has humbled me tremendously... God give me strength.
A few reflections and revelations:
Footprints, the famous poem playing in my life scenes

A cycle of life occurs before my eyes and unveils the beauty of the circle of life: grandma and Aidan by my side
I am again introduced by God to new elements never told before I arrived and never expected..
I heard a song today by Jeremy Camp that spoke of these words, to let go, let go of pride, of fears, and of fame... I try so hard to figure it all out and to hold on so tightly when in the end none of its mine. I want to see His face and to see His fingerprints on everything...

Let it snow

2006-12-28T23:48:00.000-08:00

Let it snow... Brrr it is cold out there but at least we have friends to keep us warm in the storm; these are my dear friends from San Diego that have journeyed with me since the beginning of the college days. I will miss those days when studying at late hours, working out at the gym, seeing people you know across campus was ordinary. Now it seems as if all that is personally desirable and comfortable is swiftly fading away... But at least friends do not; as many have said, "you are just a phone call away". So for my friends near and far, i do pray this will be an amazing year for you full of new hope, direction, and motivation!

(Flood Christmas Party with Jamie,Mark, and Caroline)

New Transition

2006-12-24T02:08:00.000-08:00

So the smile on my face is a reflection of current happiness. Im graduated, moved out of my house in San Diego, and closer to family. My roomie Fiona and I took a typical road trip with the car jam packed with all our stuff, and luckily survived the drive; 11 hours later after we faced rain storms, quick turns on a mountain (hwy 1), and of course several stops along the way: to see missions, sunset, cafes, etc. Well Im safe now but I know that I will soon face many challenges as this is an entirely new part of life...

Miracles

2006-11-13T15:43:00.000-08:00

Life is a miracle. There are daily moments and occurences that remind us of how fortunate we are to have life and even be awakened to true life over and over again. My dad's generosity struck me last weekend. We were inside a restaurant where they were selling necklaces, that gave all proceeds to breast cancer. So my dad decided to congratulate a newly engaged couple by buying the wife a neclace. Little did he know she was a breast cancer survivor so if you have even the slightest inclination to do something nice, out of the ordinary do not hesitate or else you may miss a great opportunity to witness a miracle!
Another miracle: women survived 6 shots to the head:
http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/woman-survives-six-shots-to-the-head/20061111114709990004
Look out for them!

Leap of Faith

2006-10-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

"Faith is risking hwat is for what is yet to be. It is taking small steps knowing they lead to bigger ones. Faith is holding on when you want to let go. It is letting go when you want to hold on"
I will walk by faith even though I cant see. This my friends is the next step... from San Diego to San Francisco. it will be a challenge, but Im ready for what God has in store...

Seasons of love...

2006-10-07T23:21:00.000-07:00

Going through a season of immersion and of gathering. In a sense life is so confusing right now. Sure I have no phone, sure Im less involved on campus. I literally feel like Im dying and stripped bare down to simplicity. As Balou from Jungle Book says, "The Bare Necessities". God, friends, work, school. Thats it. Also throw in some Chinese, which is why Ive included this "Ecclesiates" in Chinese. Seasons, sweet seasons, this happens to be a challenging one...

Summer times

2006-10-06T01:19:00.001-07:00

Thursday, July 06, 2006
A newfound garden Current mood: contemplative
"A beautiful garden grows and fluorishes within her soul; a great awakening, a new revival, a refreshing experience"
A phrase written some time ago finally arrives at reality. Learning how dreams and desires come to life. I am coming to life once again. Here I am, a camp in a far away land where there is fewer voices and less distractions. All past is eliminated. My view is focused, my soul finds itself found, and my heart yearns for more of meaning and value in everything. I refuse to settle and to listen to what is not attuned with the chimes of the Lords whisper and spirit. My spirit I will not abandoned. My physical body has been revived by the spirit that resides within and produces a flow of energy throughout.
I choose to let go. I used to strive off of external expression and impression. I used to rely on my own understanding of my body's limits and my own minds capacity. I used to maintain my relationships based on convenience and meeting different needs. I used to carry on so much for what little I would offer. I choose to take the path much higher and freeer, in which I can experience God on a new level, in a continum of epignosis (experiencing Him in the moment).
You see my frame of mind is so narrow and my sense of direction is so weak. But leave it to God to point the arrow into the land of everlasting, flowing of milk and honey, with an abundant harvest to grow and invest in.
"When there is no wood, the fire goes out" Prov. 26:20.
You see there is no means of survival without purpose and passion. Everything I do I want to revolve around these two things. Otherwise Im leading an Ecclesiastes life, one that is vain, meaningless, and hopeless. But I choose to be joyful and content in this moment of rush, confusion, an array of decisions, physical weakness, and foggy clouds roaming upon my eyelids.
My eyes get easily distracted and lustful if I do not have them fixed on the Lord. My heart falls into traps of fantasy and adultery if I do not search His heart and discover what its like. My feet stumble if I plan my own steps.
"There are many plans in a man's heart, nevertheless the Lords counsel will stand." Prov. 19:21
So I sit before the stand, the crowd, or perhaps just at His throne in complete awe, peace. Sitting on a mountaintop in the middle of only God knows where leads me only to ask "whats next? how can fully receive the ultimate abundance? How can I give love to all, big, tall, colored or small?
Truth is God sees no colors, cultural boundaries, or even the ugliest of who I am inside..
Im coming back to the heart of worship where its about Jesus. Dwelling in His presence, occupied by His work, and living in His truth

One Sweet World

2006-10-06T01:04:00.000-07:00

"A Travellin soldier"
We are being conditioned daily for battle. Nothing can defeat us. It requires sacrifice and a willingness to let go. We have no control of what will happen next. Right here, yes, in this moment, we can choose to encourage someone else, to take the focus off our selves, to listen and learn, to rise up and speak up, to focus, to take responsibility, and work hard. But sometimes our efforts just arent enough. I realize this more and more as Im living moment by moment in my last semester in San Diego. My knowledge of math, religions in India,and science is limited, my time is even less between school and work, and my ability to do my best does not rest only on me. I dont have what it takes to get through. All I can do is pray, ask questions, and build the relationships around me. So glad to know that Im not in this alone. For the first time, Im finding the importance of investing in priorities: Ive had a sudden focus shift in priorities; to value, set aside time for, to reach inside for strength, pleading God! Help me! To be a better friend, to be a better steward of my money, to be a good student. We are called to excell in all things; live above and beyond what all have seen or expect. I will endure because my student whose parent wants to send them back to the midwest is enduring, because the homeless man that fell right before me will endure, because my mom who is losing all her daughters who choose directions away from hom will endure, because the soldiers in Iraq will endure. We will endure in this battle!